Bible Verse of the Day: Keeping God First

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Friday Follow Topic: To Spank or NOT to Spank--What's your take?

I was trying to figure out what post I can write up to submit for tomorrow's Friday Follow visitors.  One of the topics on my mind is whether to spank or not to spank.  Josh and I have been discussing how we will go about disciplining Zakiah when she misbehaves.  There are so many conflicting views on the matter.  My questions to my readers are:

Do (will) you spank you child? Why or why not?

If you don't spank, how do you discipline your child?

What age do you think is appropriate to start disciplining your child?

I will start with these three questions. Hope to get a good input from you readers.

Much appreciated from both seasoned and unseasoned parents.

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22 comments:

  1. Hope you have a fantastic Friday.

    Felissa
    www.twolittlecavaliers.blogspot.com
    www.felissahadas.blogspot.com

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  2. Following you from the Friday Follow!!

    Nicole
    www.myrealreview.blogspot.com

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  3. Such cute header pics! I am not a spanker by philosophy, but that doesn't mean it hasn't happened on occasion! Happy Follow Friday - I'm at http://gifts2love.blogspot.com

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  4. Beautiful blog...following you now from the friday hop! Ok your topic, very good one indeed. My boys are now 12 and 8. When they where toddlers, let's say 3-4 those where rough years. I would give them a whap on the butt.....the few times I did, I found it not effective. Super Nanny was my saving grace for my second child. Her tactics where very effective and worked. One thing I learned is getting down to their level when speaking, keeping a calm authorative voice. Naughty corner totally worked. Time outs, worked....taking things away, worked. Consistency in parenting works!~ So in the end, I am against spanking....in fact I have seen kids who hit back, why, because they are being hit. I know old school they did it, it worked so they think it did. Not for me...but you have to make your own choice in the end and feel good with it! You have a ways to go.....so enjoy it, toddler years UGH!~ But so fun too...

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  5. I choose to NOT SPANK. To me, spanking does for your child what beating does for your wife. Of course, when Jonah is able to fully grasp the difference between right & wrong, a quick swat on the butt (more like a 'pat') won't hurt. But full on spankings? No.

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  6. Happy Friday Follow;-)
    please follow back,
    http://healthythaifoodbythebennett.blogspot.com

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  7. Love your header. I also chose not to spank - just doesn't make sense to me to hurt a child to try to teach them something.

    Stopping by from Friday Follow. Now following so I can get to know you better. Stop by Blackberry Jam Cafe for another chance to win Bea's Gift Basket Give Away!
    Susan
    www.BlackberryJamCafe.blogspot.com

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  8. I found you through Friday follow please feel free to follow me back.
    http://www.gigglingkids.blogspot.com

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  9. Here from Friday Follow! I am a mother to 4 children. I belive it is totally Biblical to spank your children for discipline. The Bible says so in Prov. 13:24. Several translations of the verse are http://bible.cc/proverbs/13-24.htm
    It is definately a touchy issue and a personal family decision. Have a great weekend!

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  10. I don't have kids yet and I am a little unsure what I am going to do. You have to discipline them. Maybe light spanking (& not in public!)

    Happy Friday Follow! I am following you now and I look forward to reading your blog. http://www.thriftyandfrugalliving.com/

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  11. Stopping by from "Friday Follow".
    Last week I stopped by over 100 blogs!

    Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

    http://christiecottage.blogspot.com
    http://christiecottage.etsy.com
    http://twitter.com/christiecottage

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  12. Happy FF! I'm your newest follower!

    Have an awesome weekend!!

    Check out my blog and giveaways at: http://blogginmommadrama.blogspot.com

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  13. I agree with person above who said "quick swats" is the way to go. I know from my nieces and nephews, that sometimes that seems to be the only way to get the point across, but I don't like the idea of full on spankings.

    I'm trying to approach parenting with a theory called "Love and Logic." Go here to check it out:

    http://www.loveandlogic.com/

    AND I GOT THE BOW!!!!!!!! BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

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  14. Hi there! Happy Friday Follow! We go with this idea for spanking: A good swat never hurt anyone, but we only use it for misbehaving that may cause harm to themselves or others. So, if they continually play with the stove nobs or electrical outlets, so they kind-of associate pain with pain.

    Just poppin in to be your newest follower. Hope you can come follow mine! Have a great weekend!

    Bridgette Groschen
    The Groschen Goblins
    http://www.groschengoblins.com/

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  15. Ok, I guess I will chime in with my thoughts. The baby is napping so I have a little peace to respond.

    First off, thanks to all you ladies who came by to visit me from Friday Follow. I am typing this from the Blackberry so I will follow back all the new followers tonight when I access the computer.

    Second, thanks for all the responses. I am a first time mom so I just wanted to hear the what other mothers think and do when it comes to disciplining their children. I just want to see as many angles as possible before I get ready to cross the bridge of disciplining later. I enjoyed reading your comments and am in NO way judgmental on how you choose to discipline your children because you do what works for you.

    I will do a follow up post on this topic but I do think tgat it is fine to spank your child for as someone stayed earlier that in Proverbs 13:24: "He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chastebeth him betimes." But I do believe that there is a thin line when it comes to spanking and that line is between spanking a child out of love to help him do what is right and spanking a child because you are frustrated and upset at you child and his misbehavior.

    I have more to say but will wait til I make a post.

    Any more thoughts?

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  16. Grr I totally dislike making errors on my comments because you can't edit them. Also the auto guess feature on my BlackBerry guesses the wrong word sometimes. My apologies! Thanks for bearing with me!

    Oh Erin, I am SO glad you got the hairbow in the mail! I am even happier that you like it! Thanks so much for your support!

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  17. Oh and what do some of you mean by full on spanking? Just asking for clarity.

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  18. Hi there, I found you through Friday follow. I am your newest follower., Hope you will come by and follow me also!
    http://couponmommyof2.blogspot.com/

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  19. You've got a new follower from Friday Follow!
    As a rule I do not spank. I have found children understand a whole lot more than we give them credit for. However, I have done a quick little swat on the hand when my little guy tried to reach a hot pot on the stove or tried sticking a fork in the outlet - not hard enough to hurt just enough to keep him from harm. I find discussing and reasoning work very well. I feel you need to start to discipline as soon as it's clear your child fully understands what you are saying.

    Have an awesome weekend.

    Kimberly
    http://www.candidclevercosteffective.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. Great question-- we choose to spank and do so in a controlled situation where we remove the child to a room, talk to them, spank, then reassure them with lots of love. All the while explaining to them they are called to obey God and obey us. that Some great books on the subject are "don't make me count to three" and "Shepherding a child's heart" Both Really lay out a good model of discipline where the child is respected, yet firmly corrected and disciplined. One must never spank out of anger,or lashing out. We did not start spanking until 18months.

    Looking forward ot following your blog! come visit us over at www.littlellamas.com

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  21. I mean the difference between:

    "Why did you draw on the wall?!?"
    Grab child, throw over knee
    "Never do that again!!" SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK SPANK

    and

    "Why did you draw on the wall?!"
    SPANK
    "We do NOT do that in our house. You need to go to time out and you are not watching your movie today."
    Followed by a conversation after they calm down about WHY we do not do that in our house and what future consequences will be if it happens again.

    Hope that helps clarify what I meant. lol

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  22. Good topic Kris. I think that you are doing well to researc the topic. Jared actually has some info on this from his M.D. perspective, that you can ask him about as well. It's good to learn about the development of a child and what is reasonable for them to understand, do and behave. Sometimes we may spank kids because they are not behaving like us as opposed to doing something they should not do at all. For instance, we may tell kids in church to stop playing and sit still...and spank them to keep still and be quiet when that may not be an age appropriate request! Last week I saw a brother in Trinidad threaten to hit his 11 month old to keep still. However, it was late at night, probably way past the child's bedtime, hence telling a child to keep still and be quiet when they dont understand what that even means is an unfair request...So its good to think about what situations should even warrent punishment. Because many siuations kids get spanked for, they are doing what is really age appropriate...Just not age appropriate for us.

    Also, spanking should be one of MANY methods of punishment and not the first thing you run to. Because if it is the first thing you run to then when it does not work the temptation is to up the anty and hit harder or longer. Which is just wrong.

    Many people have stated that spanking should be done in love. Not out of anger and frustration. Making a list of things or being aware of what warrents a spanking can help. When you put an 18 month old with a set of toys and tell them to put it down, leave it alone, and then spank them for not listening to you...hmmmm....that is questionable.

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